Christian dating advice for teenage guys
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Attention: Do not break up with her by sending a text message or on YouTube. Make a specific plan for any date — go to the movies, dance, dinner, etc. They are also afraid of los. Who wants to go out with you. Have mints or gum handy. Remember, whoever loses an argument actually wins. If you are floating around staying single because you enjoy social flexibility or having time to yourself or hanging out with the guys or because you have social ideas about the perfect woman or how to approach marriage, consider: Are you approaching manhood and marriage biblically?.
It is time for Christians to start talking about dating. The trajectory of lives and eternities are in the balance. This issue shapes our young people, friends, and family more than we could ever imagine. We have been passive too long. Establishing principles for Christian dating will set men and women on a course towards Christ-centered marriages. Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus will alter lives by keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships and ultimately marriages. Most importantly, guidelines and principles for dating will transform lives and shape eternities. So, this is incredibly important. We have a responsibility to be pro-active. So, I am starting the conversation. I hope and pray these words spark conversations in your ministries, relationships, and homes. Here are 10 important principles for Christian dating. The truth is you could spend your life with more than one person. If you need to take a minute to let that sink in, I will be here when you get back… …Alright, glad you returned. That would make God a gambler, and the Bible clearly says gambling is from the devil only joking. The beauty of marriage is God sustains you despite your flaws. The brokenness you see in yourself and the brokenness you experience from your spouse point both of you to the only perfect one, God. Dating with a trajectory towards marriage means dating with a purpose. It means dating someone who meets the values and goals you have for a future spouse more on that later. Casual or purposeless dating has no benefit for Christians. We are intentional beings. We are designed to know why we do stuff and where we are going. Dating is no different. You might get into a relationship with someone who loves Jesus, meets the values you have in a future spouse, and is compatible with you. Maybe they like to cuddle with cats or something. Just end the relationship, and continue to seek the Lord. Disclaimer: A date is not dating. Having coffee or going to eat dinner with the opposite sex is not dating. Dating is more intimate. It involves sharing personal struggles and vulnerability. So, if you choose not to get coffee or watch a movie with the opposite sex, then whatever. The ultimate purpose of marriage is sanctification becoming like God. He is the pie. There will be days when life is crashing down, your faith is wavering, and the only thing left is your spouse. This is the beauty of a sanctifying marriage. In this scenario, your spouse is there to pray for you, put his or her arm around you, and walk with you. Without a Christian spouse, one of two things will happen: you will drift away from God or your spouse will become a functional god more on this later. Both of these are bad. The dating world, however, is not the place to be a missionary. Marry someone who loves Jesus. And spread the gospel as missionaries together. If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp. Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. Your list is designed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it. Your heart and the holiness of marriage are too important to flippantly give away because you are frustrated, impatient, or settling. One more thing: have primary and secondary values. If you believe God is preparing you for foreign missions, is it important the person you marry shares this passion? Yes…this is a primary value. If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage? No…this is a secondary value. Primary values are probably deal breakers. Secondary values are probably not. Ever handled a shotgun? If not, let me fill you in. The shells of a shotgun are stuffed with tiny round balls. When you pull the trigger, these balls spread over a large range, increasing the chance you hit the target. I am going to ask 20 people on a date. Five of those should be keepers. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse. I fear this mentality in the dating culture is actually promoting divorce. Get to know yourself. So, the default for years is to leave as soon as a flaw arises. Suddenly, when marriage begins, you are asked to flip a switch. Date with a trajectory towards marriage. He gives you the desire. Let me prove it. The first instance in the Bible where God is not pleased comes when God sees Adam living in the Garden of Eden alone Gen. God knows it is not good for man to be by himself. Enter Eve, pro-creation, and marriage not necessarily in that order. People are created to be in community. And the most intimate community on earth is the relationship you will have with your spouse. So, pray for God to send you a spouse. Wait on the Lord. If you are confident God called you to marry, he will deliver. I am fearful the Christian community has irresponsibly coerced men and women into marriage through cultural pressure. See it as an opportunity to serve God. Have a community of Christians around you…and LISTEN to them. But so is marrying a sleezeball. When you date, allow the community of people around to speak into your relationship. Your feelings can deceive you. I know too many men and women who refused to listen to people around them, and their prideful arrogance resulted in a failed marriage. Find men and women you trust, and allow them to speak into your relationship. Pursue a pure mind. In the process, I filled my heart and mind with lust, and I secretly struggled with pornography. Christians, instead, need to teach the importance of a pure mind. But the sacrifice is worth the prize. A pure mind might be the greatest gift you can give your future spouse. It allows you to jump into marriage with a clear conscience. Just you, your spouse, and God. You have not made covenant vows to one another. So, the person you are dating is not yours. But understand purity begins with the mind and heart. Dating and marriage are not for those who rely on another person for joy, peace, and purpose. Co-dependent dating leads to co-dependent marriages. And co-dependent marriages eventually crumble because the weight on them is too heavy. Make sure God is the center of your life before you start dating. If not, purity will take a back seat. Dating towards marriage will take a back seat. In fact, every principle discussed in this article is null and void without God at the center. I believe these principles could transform lives. What principles are important for Christian dating. Leave a comment below. I love you all. To God be the glory forever.
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