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I returned back home last Saturday and when I find the time, I will write a detailled report for you. This place is a cage full of fools! Tunisian men hate Tunisian women, as they say, because they are smoking and drinking and making party and screwing around... Apart from that, Tunsi-Man thinks, that you wont find any female virgin in Tunisia. The guys opinions are: Only European women love the men for themselves. Not all Tunisian men want Tunisian women, just as not all European women want European men. Just as they are different to us, so are we to them. Most Tunisian women expect a man to provide more than the normal worker can ever hope to afford. The man has to be able to provide somewhere for the bride to live, all the presents and jewellery that tradition prescribes must be given and a job that can support his wife and children. A European woman does not expect the same. Not all Tunisian women think like this, either, just as each and everyone of us is unique. Never heard that there are no virgins left in Tunisia and never heard this from any Tunisian man - you must have found some right numpties. SOME Tunisian men see Europeans as described by Marylou but not all. Some European behave that way, sadly. Those that say all this sound to me as if they are protesting too much as I have never heard any of these things from any of the Tunisian men with whom we are friendly and certainly never from family members. I like this post, very balanced indeed And I have one question - most Tunisian women expect a man to provide more than the normal worker can even hope to afford... Are they living on the moon? I have never understood this honestly... I know some women are just happy to have a man just like that even without 50%50.... I don't understand how you can live in Tunisia where some average things are not available and from the other side you expect gold???? I know that the traditions are like that, but I think that they must be flexible indeed because times have changed so much.. Thanks SSG for your kind words. Sadly the traditions hang on and it is about the honour of the man's family. If he cannot provide what is expected then he is not considered a good prospect. I have seen how it works and what is expected of the man and it can be extremely harsh. This is why some men don't get married until they are in their late 30s or marry cousins. Gold is given as an investment and a dowry for the woman. We have lost this in our society as women go to work and are now, in the UK since the late 50s, allowed to control their own money which by the way has always been allowed in Islam. Having said this, some of the women really do expect far too much and should be grateful for what is being provided. It is, maybe, the greed of some of these women that drive the men to taking desperate measures - NOT that I am condoning what they do. Also, it is not just about what the woman wants, it is also about what the family expects. Most of the men that we are talking about here have parents from a generation that still holds tight to tradition. You mentioned that that many of the rats are ill educated. I would like to refute this as the education system in Tunisia is excellent. It might not be as broad as ours in terms of the syllabus but it is of an excellent standard. Also there are many genuine men from the smaller traditional villages who are not just marrying in order to make a good life for a Tunisian bride. I am not defending the rats in anyway but I hope that a little insight into what I have experienced in Tunisia will help to explain a little of what these rats are saying. They are taking some facts, exaggerating them and using them to try and pull the wool over people's eyes. We can hear some horrible lines in France too about young girls born french but with maghrebian roots.. We can hear some horrible lines in France too about young girls born french but with maghrebian roots.. Most of the men that we, here, come into contact with are those that have not been to University and so might be considered less well educated. Many of them are still highly intelligent and only broke off their education in order to help support their families. Yes I have heard of university educated rats and most of them are probably also found working in tourism because they have not been able to find any other work. You can have the most ill educated, simple, poor man who genuinely falls in love with a European and just as easily have a well educated rat who cheats and lies. I have seen, with my own eyes, the behaviour of a rich maybe the director's son? We can hear some horrible lines in France too about young girls born french but with maghrebian roots.. Amber, My rat went to University, works as a teacher, comes from a traditional family, yet uses all those horrible lines. He could not take any woman to his house, unless he was married to her. He told me he hated Tunisian women as they were too argumentative, but then told me I behaved like a Tunisian woman,lol. I think he is now married to a Tunisian woman, but has several Facebook accounts, and a Tagged account, chatting rubbish. My friends rats are not educated, and all work in tourism. I could be wrong, but I think the majority of rats are not educated and come from poorer backgrounds as you say. Amber, My rat went to University, works as a teacher, comes from a traditional family, yet uses all those traditional lines. He could not take any woman to his house, unless he was married to her. He told me he hated Tunisian women as they were too argumentative, but then told me I behaved like a Tunisian woman,lol. I think he is now married to a Tunisian woman, but has several Facebook accounts, and a Tagged account, chatting rubbish. My friends rats are not educated, and all work in tourism. I could be wrong, but I think the majority of rats are not educated and come from poorer backgrounds as you say. Not all Tunisian men want Tunisian women, just as not all European women want European men. Just as they are different to us, so are we to them. Most Tunisian women expect a man to provide more than the normal worker can ever hope to afford. The man has to be able to provide somewhere for the bride to live, all the presents and jewellery that tradition prescribes must be given and a job that can support his wife and children. A European woman does not expect the same. Not all Tunisian women think like this, either, just as each and everyone of us is unique. Never heard that there are no virgins left in Tunisia and never heard this from any Tunisian man - you must have found some right numpties. SOME Tunisian men see Europeans as described by Marylou but not all. Some European behave that way, sadly. Those that say all this sound to me as if they are protesting too much as I have never heard any of these things from any of the Tunisian men with whom we are friendly and certainly never from family members. I also contributed what I could and that is all he ever said to me what I can afford never once asked for money!!! People on here cannot keep saying all Tunisian men are unfaithful users ect.... Life has only got a little easier for some in very recent years and then not for many. There is a big split between the haves and havenots. I also remember when there were virtually no mobile phones or electrical goods that were affordable to the majority. We can hear some horrible lines in France too about young girls born french but with maghrebian roots.. I think that both traditional and more western approaches and behaviours coexists in Tunisia as a result of the liberalization of the society initiated by Bourguiba , enforced by Ben ali , and it has inevitable consequences following these internal and political choices of Tunisia , reinforced by the broad access to communication on a large scale with the whole world through the media and internet. Today the population is struggling to find a peaceful cohabitation between traditions and more liberal tendancies. That's the reason why the youth is so puzzled. And the influence of the local tourists visiting Tunisia is really nothing compared to the impact of the media and the internet window on the western world. China and North Corea are still controling internet to avoid this access to the world as much as possible. According to me , the wrong ideas tunisian men have about european women have to do with this influence of media and acccess to internet and the worlwide communication , much more than with the attitute of the toursists or their possessions even if some undecent horrible women spoil the image of european women we agree ,but this is not the large number again. So that's why it's time for the country to deal with rattery as a national priority... That's tricky and well known in social psychology , the strong characteristics of a small group can take the lead on the silent and quiet majority. I returned back home last Saturday and when I find the time, I will write a detailled report for you. This place is a cage full of fools! Tunisian men hate Tunisian women, as they say, because they are smoking and drinking and making party and screwing around... Apart from that, Tunsi-Man thinks, that you wont find any female virgin in Tunisia. The guys opinions are: Only European women love the men for themselves. I can only tell you what people told me when I asked them and I asked eldery people and the younger ones. Before mobiles and Facebook where around they used to do it with little notes at a piece of paper at weddings! I really love these stories, it reminds me when I was young and youwere passing little notes at little papers in the classroom when the teacher didn't see it! LOL At weddings here in the south, most are the women and men separate, now they are sometimes a little bit more mixed, but before never. So thise little notes were going around, must be a very excited time! Now they've got mobiles so ask numbers or numbers are passing to eachother or they find at facebook and get in contact this way. They have dating but allways with another person joining, mostly a family member. After they are engaged than the man is in general allowed also to visit the family, but mostly will be coming with family members from him aswell. The women is not going to the man's family. Again this is only what I know from here in the South, maybe up in the North it's differently. Allthough I'm very sure that up in the North they are not allowed aswell to be together with any other person. Mostly they are engaged for a long time, so they will meet up and communicate. But like it is at any place at the world it's here aswell with Tunisian people, some people are not scared to talk about feelings and important subjects, but some people are. And offcourse they will get to learn eachother in another way as we're used too, because we did had more freedom in our lives so also in relations, for us it's normal to get to know eachother, living together before marriage etc, here not. So they will get to know their husband or wife better, after their marriage when they're living together and yes offcourse that will give sometimes some problems. Imagine aswell the first night for the groom and the bride..... And what I personally experience here a lot, that things the future husband has for bad habbits, they say it will change after marriage, or they say all the man are the same, what can I do? If they are engaged, it's not so easy when they get to know eachother, to break the engagement. And what I also find very hughe for a Tunisian women, when she is getting married, up till than she lived with her family, than at once she is not living only with her new husband, but also with his family!!! Yes you're right, but like I said before all over the world there are people good at communicating and people who don't like that at all. And if engaged, than that will be the time to get to know eachother, but an engagement here can't be easily broken. There will be a lot of persons than getting involved, allthough it's the relationship of just these 2 persons...... The way they choose, there are a lot of options. If 2 persons find eachother, they can tell their parents mostley the mother than it will be discussed to see if the other family is OK and therefore accepted. It can also be that the parents make a suggestion to their child. I'm not sure if I ever did write it here, but in general people say that the woman in Tunesia is suppressed. I believe that the Tunisian man is suppressed for the majority. Because the Tunisian man, can have a job, a house, his own family, so has his own life...... And also his mother's opinion is very important for him. So for him the opinions from his father and mother has a big value and at the other side he has his wife who also has an opinion...... LOL Ask my husband who is more demanding.... Most European women pay all or most part from the wedding and after the wedding they get them a visa and he will com in the European womans house where everything is already. And it is difficult for most of them. Most off the times she will not think about the hughe things in his life what has been changed and can't understand why he isn't that happy as she is....... And if he's not working and she is, she will expect after some honeymoon weeks, that he will do something in the household.... So he has to adapt that way of living and expectations...... And European women are known as liking to communicate with their partner about important things, he will problaly not be used to that, so he has to learn that aswell..... And than he will problaly think.... He will stop ''loving'' me??? My BIL is in his late 30s and recently married. He met his now wife through a friend, and he went to her home to eat with her family to be introduced to her. They spent no time alone together during their engagement - he went to spend the afternoon with her and her family on a sunday and they spoke on the fone during the week. The first time they spent alone was after their marriage! He totally adores her and is very protective of her. Things are very different when the family is a good practising family. My SILs have all dont the same thing. They never had boyfriends etc. Girls are very protected and looked after. But the sense of fun and love in my family is amazing. Female cousins visit and we have so much fun. One of my younger female cousins has recently qualifed as a doctor for. But she doesnt go to coffee with boys or socialise with them.
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